One of my biggest fears in choosing to go back to an ileostomy was whether I would be able to be as active, or even half as active, as I was before. Basketball has always been one of my greatest passions throughout my life. Whether I was happy, sad, angry, or stressed, it didn’t matter. Getting on the court was the right response to all of those feelings.
I began playing basketball when I was a child, maybe 5 or 6, and I was fortunate enough to play all the way through college. It’s kind of ironic—I was diagnosed with UC within months after finishing my final season. It’s like my body held out just long enough for me!
All of this is to say, not being active and not playing basketball was simply not an option. I’ve always been pretty driven when it comes to my passions and the things I enjoy doing. So the question wasn’t if I was going to play ball again, it was when.
Once my final surgery was done and my ostomy was fully healed (though there were a few setbacks along the way), I knew I still had a long way to go to get back on the court. I couldn’t just jump straight back into it. I had to build myself up (again!) and get back into shape. At this point in my journey, I was pretty familiar with starting over from scratch. I can’t count how many times I’d build myself up just to have to reset due to a setback.
Starting over this time was different, though. Even though I was starting underweight, had half the strength I used to, and had no discernable stamina to speak of, I knew this time was different because I could actually see a consistent future.
I opted to get a membership to a gym, and this alone was a major step for me. In the years prior, I was never able to go consistently. Honestly, I was self-conscious because I was so skinny from the surgeries and recovery. Looking back now, I really doubt anyone cared about my physique other than me. To them, that was just me.
But that’s where the inner monologue always was, because what I was seeing in the mirror was not me. Or at least, it was not the me I was used to for my whole life. At this point, though, I was ready to accept myself and where I was at in life. That helped change a lot of my self-perception.
I kept consistently working out at the gym, and I was finally at a point where I felt good enough to get back on the court. I reached out to some friends who I had played with in the past. It was what we call “an old man run,” meaning we were all in our 30s and 40s. We needed to be able to keep up with each other!
Still, I had one more major thing to figure out: how I would keep my stoma and ostomy safe while playing.
Now, I almost put keeping the bag safe as more important than the stoma itself when it came to playing. The last thing I needed was a literal bag of crap to explode everywhere in the middle of a game—though, I doubt anyone would guard me after the fact if it did!
After some research online, I found what’s called a Stoma Shield and gave it a try. It’s a hard plastic cover with pads on the inside and a wide enough opening to protect my stoma. To put it simply, this is the best investment I’ve made in regards to my confidence in basketball and athletics in general.
I have had zero issues with my Stoma Shield. I can run, jump, and twist with it on. I can move freely and I feel completely confident. I’ve even gotten to the point where I don’t notice it or think about it when I’m playing. I’ve fallen to the ground, dived on the floor, and even gotten elbowed in the stomach with absolutely no issues. It does make me a bit sweatier when I play, but I’ll gladly take that trade-off!
Today, I don’t get to play basketball or be quite as active as I used to be when I was younger. But for me, there is no better feeling than knowing that I can get on a court, work out, or just be active whenever I want. All I need is some free time, my Stoma Shield, and a whole lot of caffeine